I haven't been on here in a really long time. There is so much that has happened, and I've been thinking this would be a good way to get some of this shit out. I feel like shit, and nothing makes any sense. I feel like I don't know who I am anymore. I feel like I did everything I could to try to make him see that what he was doing was killing me, and everytime I did, he turned it around. Made it all about him. And I fell for it everytime and always ended up feeling like the worst person ever. I can't believe I ever let it even start. I don't know what happened to me when I was around him. I was completely defensless, I felt like I had no one but him, and I know thats how he wanted it. I could never spend time with anyone without supposedl cheating on him, or something stupid. I was kept from everyone, and I let it happen. I can;t even begin to describe how good it feels to know that even after I let him do that to me, the people that loved me before still love me even though I let him separate me from everyone. I just feel lucky to have gotten out while the little amount of self respect I have left is still there.