I WILL kill her.

I will murder her. I will slowly chop her head off. And I will stab her until she is no longer breathing. Don't threaten to call the cops on me if I don't leave you alone, and then start messaging me a week or so later. And don't sit there and call me fucking psycho, you were the one that was just in a mental hospital, right? And don't you dare play stupid, and act like you didn't mean to call me. And really? Like I said, what are my parents going to do? Even my dad said, "What the fuck are we going to do? She's 18 and can do whatever she wants." So fucking suck it. You don't scare me, so go ahead and call the cops because I saved every one of those text messages, and the voicemail. Oh, and mom saved her texts too. Be smart about it, and dont fucking ask for shit back that you gave me, because you gave them to me, so kiss my ass. And trying to blackmail me, telling me to give you 45$. HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. No thanks. And, really? You want to call me a slut? You know nothing about my sex life. Where as what is your favorite hobby? Besides cutting yourself? Giving head? Right? Yeah, thats what you said. And thats whatever, just go ahead and blow another guy that won't have sex with you. I hope it makes you feel better about yourself. But really, you need to grow up, you need to face facts and quit acting like you are a freaking child. You are a grown fucking woman living off your father and unemployment, yet you tell me that I need to grow up. Yeah, I may be living with my parents, but I have a job, and I am paying for my own gas and insurance. AND my own phone. I dont sit around all day and smoke weed, on the internet, and then asking my dad for money to go hang out. I actually have a life, and one that I am pretty much supporting for myself. And, I am going to college this fall. How far did you get in school? Hmmm. So don't call me fucking stupid either. As far as I'm concerned, you can kiss my ass, because you mean nothing to me now.

Lots of things...

Well first off I'm pissed cause inside work today was 95 degrees, litterally. And that is just ridiculous. The air conditioner was broke yesterday, you knew about it, get the damn thing fixed. Thats about all I have to say about that. A doy or two ago I found out that one of my classmates, that I have gone to school with since like 6th grade died. I don't know how, but I know that it could have been me. He died just about a month before his 18th birthday. While I had just had my birthday, and was out with no worries, hanging out and finally buying my own cigarettes, someone that I had known died. What if that would have been me? Dying right before my birthday? Leaving my parents to bury a child? I dont know why this hit me as hard as it did. But that so easily could have been me. That could have been me everyone is so sad about. And it kind of made me realize a little more how precious this day, working in that heat was. Because even though it was hot and I was unhappy, I'm still alive, my parents can still tell me good night, and I can still be here for them, and my sister, and well... everyone. No day is promised. And I want to know everynight when I go to sleep that I did something worth remembering, wether it's just telling my parents that I love them, or helping out a friend. I want to know every day that I lived that day the way I wanted to, and that I did something worth remembering. Oh, and I pierced my nose. Now I owe my dad eighty bucks. The deal was that he would pay for part of my tattoo if I didn't pierce my face, I agreed and thought it would be easy, cause I figured the urge to get pierced would go away after I got my tattoo, that is not the case. It only got worse. So now, because of that agreement, that I would pay him double the fourty he paid, I owe him 80 dollars more than I already owe him for the car.

Taylor Thoele, I love you! =]

So sitting in Taco Bell with Taylor, she looks at the cup that says "Fourthmeal, The meal between dinner and breakfast." She goes "Shouldn't that be between breakfast and dinner?" Me: "Uhh, that would be called lunch." Taylor, "Ohhhhh. Duh" Yeah, she is kinda blonde. Then we were in the car and we were rolling up the windows, and she says, "lets see who wins!" My window is rolled up and she looks over, "Oh, I stopped." FAIL! This girl is one of my best friends, no matter how blonde she is. =]

Fucking Really?

Okay, so you totally bitch me out, and basically tell me I'm a horrible person for no reason. Then you all of a sudden send me a picture of your arm with what looks like cat scratches, and then you tell me you are in an ambulance on the way to the hospital for those same scratches, then, 12 hours later you send the same thing to facebook. You expect me to believe you? That you were in the hospital twice in just a few hours? I'm not stupid, and I don't like being treated like it. And asking me if I wondered were you have been in the past week? Nope, I haven't wondered. The past week has been the least drama filled since I've met you. And you trying to act like this is all my fault and I put you were you are is bullshit. I didn't cut the TOP of your arm, I didn't go show people. I am not the one begging for attention from anyone any way I can get it just because I feel bad about myself. I know that you were pissed at me or whatever, but really? Don't even blame this on me. Don't even try. I had nothing to do with any of it. Now, when you straighten up your life, and start acting like someone that is at least halfway normal, then you can find me or try to talk to me again. But really, I am so done with the drama and lies. Its not my fault you are in a mental hospital, its your own fault. I am not the one that cuts anymore, I am not the twenty year old with no job, living off my father and unemployment. I am sorry that your life just sucks so much, but NONE of it is my fault. And when you realize that your life is your responsibility, and that you can affect it anyway you want, I hope that you do that, and take that realization and turn it into initiative. I am done trying to help you because everytime I do, you get mad at me, and you tell me that you never want to talk to me and that you "don't have a sister anymore". I am tired of that shit. I am done being blamed, and I think that right now at this point in my life I don't need you anymore. I am going places, and I am not going to let you ruin that no matter how much you try and pull me down with you. I am not going to let that happen, and I hope you have a great life when you grow up and realize that growing up comes with responsibility. But right now you are a twenty year old woman acting like a thirteen year old child.

Taking out the trash at work...

So, my friend Heather, and her friend Jordan came to see me at work. I had to take out the trash tonight. They were hanging out and keeping me company while I was closing, and they decided to walk with me to the dumpster. While I was putting the trash in the dumpster I hear, "OH MY GOD!!! THERE'S A BUG IN MY HAIR", I turn around to see Jordan jumping up and down and swatting at her head. Then, next thing I know, she is screaming, "OH MY GOD! IT'S IN MY EAR! THERE IS A BUG INSIDE MY EAR!" She then asks me if I can see it. I did not see anything. A couple seconds later she asks if I can see it, HELL YES I COULD! It was a june bug crawling half in and half out of her ear!! It was so disgusting. Now all I can do is laugh about it, but right at that second it was so freaking gross. So thats about all that I have to say... interesting night at work.

What in the world...

I have no idea what I just walked into. Only time will tell, I guess. I just know that this is what I want right now in this point in my life, and I don't care what anyone has to say about it. I think that so far, after being back in Kansas City, I have pretty much made the right choices, and not fucked up too much. I don't think this is going to be something that I regret, and if it is, well, its my life, and my mistake. I just hope its not going to be a bad one. Anyways, what else is going on in my life? I haven't had a day off work all week, and today I will be working an 8 hour shift. Like every Saturday, I don't know why Jerry thinks its funny to have me work the longest shift of the day, and at the end of it I'm not counting the drawer or doing dishes, I'm taking out the trash and sweeping and mopping. Really? I can't slack off after we close because I've been there longer than anyone else that day? Nope. Not at all. I'm really looking for another job. Like one I can start now. Because not even the manager works as long as I do on Saturdays. Thanks, Jerry. And my Mother, no, not Stacie, the OTHER one. The one I dont want to have anything to do with, the one taht I can't stand, the one that just absolutely pisses me off, Yeah, that one. She thinks that she knows what is going on in my life because she reads my posts on facebook, I think differently. She didnt even know anything about my life when we were living in the same house. I know she doesnt know this, but I hate her. I hate her with a passion, and don't tell me how wrong it is, or that I shouldn't hate her, or that no matter what she's still my mother, you go spend two years being nothing but a babysitter and another mouth to feed. Then tell me I'm wrong again. Okay, I'm done bitching for now. I'm going to get ready for work. Oh, Joy.

Hmmm.

Well, This is fun. Not really. Cami said I needed a blog, and it sounded fun, so here I am... My feet still hurt Cami, just so you know.